I have been a flake in life lately.

Too often I’ve made plans, only to cancel them. Submitted resumes and done the leg work to look for a new job, only to turn down the interviews. What have I been doing? Not being true to myself for one. I’ve not been true to me as I have found myself in a relationship that I thought I wanted, and that he thought he wanted, only for us to realize three and a half years and an engagement later that neither of us wanted. Sigh.

So, here I am, starting out fresh, again. But this time it feels more real, probably as this was the first guy I lived with, and from very early on. He was also my longest relationship with my next closest being a mere 1.5 years! Hitting the ole reset button on my life and all that I have known for what feels too long is a daunting task and one that I wasn’t quite ready to tackle.

Now is a good a time as any to move forward, to change and choose direction and make peace with my life,  honestly, I am a little scared. And thats ok. I have been too comfortable getting close to making plans and getting close to making a better life for myself only to sink back onto the couch and flick through the never ending “nope’s” on Netflix. Time to grab life by the metaphorical balls and get out there (sorry lads).

The first step in my plan is to rediscover me, and part of that involves getting out there and trying somethings. Asides from trying to write a blog once a week I plan to read daily, practise yoga three times a week, and keep a private journal. This is how I am going to handle this breakup and move forward at thirty to a better version of me.

 

Here goes nothing. Stay tuned for more on my journey.